Take time to set your goals (but also to check up on them!)

My goal setting on another level

I was talking about reflection in my last newsletter, so I wanted to share how am I doing with my goal setting and tracking achieving my goals. I admit: I still did not finish setting my goals for 2018 with Lisa Jacob's My best year 2018. It is hard and i don’t really know what exactly do i want. but , I did manage to set my goals for January and I just checked how am I doing. I wrote down the list of achievements and I must say that I feel pretty fucking awesome about it! I would never realized how many things I started/improved from 2017 and I actually kept them going the whole month.

My achievements in January:

• I read two great books and I started to read before sleep regularly
• I finally went to off-piste skiing course, where I went 100 % out of my comfort zone (I never thought I will hike to Vrsic pass with 10 kg backpack and skis on my back … crazy!)
• I took a good care of myself: went to massage twice and each week I went to sauna
• I started with morning sport trainings due to my neck and back issues and i managed to wake up early twice a week
• I wanted to go to bed earlier and I managed quite well, I go to bed around 11 pm and wake up at 7 am (1 hour earlier than before)
• I managed to do one cool project besides my job (developed educational module for social entrepreneurship within MSS and I really enjoyed it)
• I kept on going to yoga twice a week (even though I had to push myself sometimes)
• I managed to lose a bit of my weight and eat very healthy (almost 0 sugar in January, low amount of carbs, a lot of vegetables etc)
• I survived 10 days without Jošt, when he again went to San Francisco very well
• I spent a nice amount of time with my friends, catching up
• I still did not have too many things in my schedule, I did not feel tired at all
• I started a Tuesday dates routine with Jošt and it’s working out very well: we always do something exciting and I love it
• I narrowed down my master thesis topic and now I have a concrete idea what I want to do
• I sent Pursuit of happiness newsletter and kept going with this mini project
• I hiked, spent quite some time in nature and I had super fun weekends
• I continued with my Ayurveda class even though I was thinking about quitting and I am so glad I’m still in

I achieved my goals in 70 % and achieved 40 % of things that were not even in my goals. Of course i failed in quite some things as well:

• I didn’t meet my financial goals (I will try again in February, haha, lets see)
• I didn’t meet my goal to walk to work more often (partially due to shitty weather, I made this goal more concrete for February - walk to work at least once a week)
• I got upset over some things I would not have to get upset about, it was just my reaction to the situation that I didn’t like (I will observe myself and my thoughts more to not obsess about the small things)
• It wasn’t really in my goals, but I did experience too much stress (much less than in November and December, but still, I expected that it will be much more easy-going in terms of my job). Stress mostly came from my high expectations / trying to do a lot, expecting too much from others, so I simply need to lower my expectations and not get frustrated if things happen much slower than I would want them to)

Overall, January was a great month. It was really helpful to set goals on a weekly basis and later check if i achieved them.

In February, I will change:

• I will not write my monthly & weekly goals only in my book but also on a piece of paper I will stick on the door to see it all the time
• I will try to get even more strict with my new rhythm (sleeping 23-07) by setting up a calendar reminder to go to sleep at 22:30
• I will track my financial state regularly to not spend too much

Lifestyle changes after burnout: on my way from busy to balanced

Be productive! Be effective! Work hard! Do 1001 things in a day! Create a startup, build a house, have children, volounteer, create an ngo, take care of your family, nurture relationships with your friends, be social, be fun, be loving, be patient, be responsible, be adventorous, be everything.

We live in a fucked up world. We've come to a place where we schedule coffees two weeks in advance and where we can't have a beer with our friends before 7 pm, since it became normal that we work late every day. Party on Friday in unimaginable - we're all way to tired for it. Do you know what I'm talking about? And the worse of all - in the end we don't have the time or energy to have sex. Who has the time to have sex, right? Say whaaat?!?

I'm glad to see that the trend is changing, since I recently noticed some articles that already expose the sick culture of being busy. We're finally getting that being busy isn't a cool thing.
"Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing. " is a quote I like from this article. Another one nails it with the title already: Busy is the new stupid.

Since I had a major burnout in November, I've made some serious changes in my lifestyle. Worse things I experienced with burnout:

• I could not stand up to go on a toilet on my own,  I was lying on the couch and Jošt had to pick me up,
• I walked slowlier than a 90-year old person would: I needed 90 minutes to reach a destination I'd usually reach in 20 minutes,
• I had major chest pain everytime I experienced stress - even the smallest stressful situation made my chest felt like it's burning,
• Once my chest pain was so strong that I felt like I'm having a heart attack (later I learned it was a panic attack).

I never imagined that my body can loose all it's phisical strenght due to very high amouts of stress, long work hours etc. I'm sharing my experience so that you can maybe use this strategies to prevent burnout, before it even happens. And note: the fact that you have trouble sleeping is one of the first signs that sth is not okay.

Two important questions I got that inspired me to change:

1. Describe me your lifestyle, asked me ajurvedic doctor on my antistress therapy in Sri lanka in December. I was like: what kind of question is that? But then I kind of said the only word that came to my mind at the moment: busy.

2. Do you take rest? asked me another doctor, that is leading a group therapy for people that have experienced mobbing. I was looking at her and I said: what do you mean by taking rest? I do sleep, right? She smiled and said: do you take rest during the day? We both knew what my answer was.

So, I decided that I want to come to the point, where I answer the question about my lifestyle with the word balanced. And for that, I obviously need to rest more. For some of you that are already taking it easy some of the things I will write may sound completely crazy. For all busy bees - I'm sure you'll be able to relate.

My small steps towards balanced lifestyle:

1. I have empty spaces in my calendar. For the past few years, I didn't have empty spaces in my calendar, at least not during the week. Every afternoon and evening, I did something: hobbies, sports, educational events, meetings, work groups, hanging out with my friends. Although those things are very enjoyable, they require some energy. And even if I as an complete extrovert gain energy from people, it was exhausting. 

2. I am my priority and I listen to my body. Not my work, my friends, my ngos - it's all about me and my energy. When I'm tired, I rest. When I feel like going out on a walk, I go out and take a walk. When I feel sleepy, I sleep. We often do things even if we're tired. I remember going to a late meeting, even though I felt dizzy from the day I had. I never said no to a beer - I mean, that's fun, right? I had to attend all the events I was interested in - othervise I would miss out, you know ... and of course, I had to finish all my work and I stayed longer, if it was needed - it was my responsibility, right?

3. I'm late with some deadlines. For the past few years, I tried to be as professonal as possible with everything I did. I was (almost) always very efficient, organized, productive, proactive. I followed deadlines and often I did more than I was asked. Now, being professional isn't the most important priority anymore. Since I am the priority, I prefer to miss a deadline, if I feel tired. I still feel very guilty, if I take time for myself instead of finishing some work, but I know it's for the best. And you know what I realized? That in most situations, other people are late with deadlines too and the only person worried and feeling very bad about it is me.

4. I do a lot of sports. I grew up in an extremly sporty family, where sport is basically no. 1 value. As a high school student I wanted to show my parents that I'm not following their path and I didn't do that much sports anymore, also during my studies every meeting, educational event, work I had, coffee with a friend, everything was more important than sports. I still mostly did some sports 2 times a week but I find that a bare minimum, since for my family doing sport every day was sth normal. Now, I do a lot of sports and I'm becoming addicted to get sweaty once a day, so I'm at 5-6 times a week at the moment. And it feels great and so natural - I mean, we have 24 hours a day, how could I not take 1 hour to do some sports? Even a walk to the city centre can work and everyone can move for 30 minutes a day - if we want to and if we make it our priority. 

5. I work for myself. I think it's very hard to have a usual 9-5 job (ok, let's be honest, it's mostly 8-6) and give yourself that much care and love. That's why I hope I can maintain what I have at the moment, since it's working out really great. I work less - on one hand, because I simply can't work for 8 hours yet (my doctor said it will take next 6 months to get back to "normal" again) and on the other hand - I don't want to. Who decided that we have to work 8 hours a day? It's a total nonsense. I think I work 4-6 hours a day. I take breaks, I do walks, sports inbetween. And don't get me wrong - I love working and I only do the things I love doing. Still, I don't find it healthy to sit behind the computer for 10 hours a day. So much sitting! So much typing! I need the sun, the air, the trees ...

6. I expect less from myself. I think that with a combination of a society pressure and our own beliefs, we create a deadly high expectations from ourselves: the list of all the things I should do in 2017. WTF? I believe in setting goals, but now I also believe in downsizing them, at least in terms of our achievements. I don't mean that you have to become a person with no ambitions. I will always stay ambitious - maybe I can just imagine and that I will not start an ngo, startup company, finish my master thesis, create an online movement, read 469 books, attend 16 educational programms - all in one year.

Life isn't going anywhere and it's very hard to be a part of it, when you get sick. So, if I want to take care of others, our society, I first need to take care of myself. It sounds extremely stupid now that I'm writing it and it's so simple - but I guess to had to experience sth really bad to really get it.

There is still a lot of work to be done and I'm working on changing my attitude towards work, managing time etc. But so far, I'm satisfied with the recent changes I've made. And I really hope they are not only temporary - I still need to get over the feeling of guilt for being less productive, feeling of losing time since I haven't launched xy project yet even though it's a great idea etc. But at the moment, I wouldn't describe my lifestyle as busy anymore. I wouldn't describe it as balanced either, but I'm going there or at least I'm going somewhere away from busy.